It may just be me, but I’m pretty sure it’s not, but since I have been pregnant, I have felt increasing pressure to perform better at work than I did before. It is like an unwritten rule that because I am daring to take some maternity leave, I must produce all the work I would have done during that period before it starts. I feel this intense pressure to deliver projects that would have taken 18 months in just 9 so that my employer doesn’t feel inconvenienced while I am off. It has left me stressed out, feeling completely overwhelmed and close to burnout this last few weeks.
I work two jobs and while I am taking 8 months off one, I am only taking a mere 6 weeks off the other. The 8 month job is relatively low stress, but there is still the expectation that the project that was due to be delivered in February now has to be delivered 3 months early to coincide with my maternity leave starting. It has completely stressed me out and has impacted my mental health way more than I thought it would.
I do wonder if men went through pregnancy then there would be less pressure to deliver before any leave is given. Actually, I’m pretty sure that as soon as they were pregnant they would be off work because they wouldn’t be able to cope with morning sickness. It makes me laugh that if you have a sickness bug, you are meant to take time off work, but with morning sickness you are meant to suffer in silence and carry on at peak working performance. This world is so unfair sometimes. We are busy making the future generations of this planet, and yet women are given no credit or allowences until the actual baby is here. Even then, maternity leave is seen as an inconvenience rather than something to be celebrated.
Anyway, back to my main point, I wish there wasn’t this cloud hanging over me and instead of dreading my baby’s arrival because of all the work I have to get done before she is here, I could relax and look forward to her arrival.
Until this world is more equal, sadly this won’t be a reality. I just hope I can mentally make it through the next 6 weeks.